We Must Do Better

When you're a parent, you are constantly afraid. There's a saying, "Having children is like having your heart walk around outside your body." Spot on. There are so many things out there that you wish desperately you could protect your little ones from: illness, accidents, bad grades, romantic rejections, being cut from sports teams, and the list goes on. Unfortunately, you don't think to put other children on that list.

In a town about an hour and a half away from our home, a 14-year old boy walked in front of a tractor trailer and killed himself. He was being bullied by children at school and thought death was the only way he could escape. The news showed a picture of the little guy, and between that and how he was described in news articles, this latest example of the harm bullying can cause has really hit home for me. "Always smiling," "a sweet kid," and his grinning, bespectacled face just made me sob. All things that made me think of my own son.

Unfortunately, this little boy's death is just the latest in a rash of similar suicides caused by bullying.

Your child's classmates are supposed to be their peers, their community, their friends; not their tormentors. Just because someone marches to the beat of their own drummer they do not deserve to be treated as an outcast. School is meant to be a place of enlightenment, not bigotry. I am outraged. I am heartbroken. I am angry; I'm sad. The underlying emotion is disbelief. How can this be happening?? We as parents need to, of course, watch our children for signs of being bullied, but what about the parents of the bullies?? You need to WAKE UP! You know your child. Talk to your kids. It is as important for you to be involved and cognizant of the signs of a bully as it is for the rest of us to look for signs of children being bullied.

We as parents have a responsibility to address and resolve this issue, from both sides. No one should lose their child because of such a horrific, unfathomable - and totally preventable - situation.

Brandon Bitner

January 2, 1996 - November 5, 2010

Back To School...Blues? Bliss?

Well, after a summer of swimming lessons, karate class, and football games, it all came to an end today. Big Guy had his first day back at school.

This year, he started the 1st Grade. He was beyond excited; he couldn't wait to go to sleep last night to make sure he got "good rest" for his new year. He woke up this morning, and immediately wanted to get dressed and put on his backpack -- who needs breakfast?!?

I have mixed emotions about the boys starting back to school. We have had a great summer together, laughing, playing, just being together. I am going to miss not having my little buddies with me all day long. We've had a blast being bosom buddies for three months!

The beginning of another school year also serves as a milestone marker: they're another year older, and another year more independent from me. When they were babies, they relied on me for everything...and while they're still only 4 and 6, I see them getting their own snacks, going to the bathroom by themselves and getting dressed solo and it makes me realize: they're needing me less and less. Case in point: yesterday, a song came on the radio, and I started dancing around the family room. While they used to jump in and dance along with me, Big Guy said, "Mommy, can you please stop it?" It's going to be a tough transition for me from the center of their universe to the 'embarrassing mom!'

On the other hand, I do have to admit a little part of me is excited...Little Guy will be in preschool three days a week, and with Big Guy in school all day long -- that means Mommy will actually get some 'me' time!! There will be errands I can run and just jump in and out of the car -- no handing holding in parking lots or buckling and unbuckling of carseat belts. I can spend some time shopping for me or getting my nails done, stuff I can't do with two crazy boys in tow. Even cleaning the house without little messmakers following me around is (somewhat of) a luxury...

At any rate, school is here, whether it makes me happy or sad. They're growing up and stepping out, and I can either long for the days of babyhood or look excitedly to the next phase of their lives. Every year with them has been an adventure, and this one won't be any different. And, it doesn't hurt that a little bit of my 'pre-kids' self is coming back slowly as they grow. I'll just hold on tight to their little hands for as long as I can and say, "Bring on the future!"